Happy Father’s Day With Poetry

You know, sometimes I forget it’s Father’s Day. My dad died years ago, and as I’ve said many times here, he was an abusive alcoholic. While my relationship with my father wasn’t the best, I did have great relationships with both of my grandfathers. One of them in particular was very close to me and I miss him every day.

Still, people ask me sometimes about this crazy childhood of mine and why I’m not nuts. LOL! Well, first, I did what I needed to do in order to get past my upbringing. I don’t subscribe to the belief that your past defines who you are. You always have the chance to rise above it. It isn’t easy, in fact, it’s more work than you’ll probably ever do in your life, but it’s worth it. Even if you have moments where self-doubt inches its way in your head, you still win because you recognize the patterns of your past and work on changing them.

I used to feel a bit sad on Father’s Day, but I don’t anymore. I look at my life so differently now, and one reason is that I shifted the focus from being “the child of an alcoholic and abusive dad” to “a child of God.” When you look at yourself as a child of God, your entire world changes.

A few years I told the story of me and my dad through poetry. It might seem odd, but to me poetry was really important. It helped lift me out of the dark places in my childhood and created a safe haven I didn’t have. But I couldn’t write the story without thanking God in the process. He is the reason I’m here, without a doubt. I wrote a poem called “Father’s Eyes” that really sums up what I believe my life is all about now. The poem became the title for the book.

FATHER’S EYES

In my father’s eyes
I am lazy
and slow.
I have a long way to go, and then,
I still won’t be close.

In my father’s eyes
I am loud
and sarcastic.
My voice makes a shrill cacophony of chaos,
at last, I had nothing important to say.

In my father’s eyes
I see why
they treat me so.
I deserve it,
I really do.

In my father’s eyes
I am not the answer
for his deep despair.
And so I think,
why am I here?

In The Father’s eyes
I have come so far.
And beauty and happiness
will be my reward
from now until forever.

In The Father’s eyes
You can’t hurt me.
His grace protects me;
His love sustains me.

In The Father’s eyes
I’m His child.
His delight.
He wants me here,
and I belong.

© 2004, Cherie Burbach, from the book Father’s Eyes

One of the positive reviews I received on this poem was in regard to the subtlety of going from my father’s eyes to The Father’s eyes. I think this mirrors exactly what happened in my own life. I realized all I needed to do was look up to heaven to see what kind of child I really was. It was as profound and as simple as that.

If you’re without a dad today, like me, I have this wish for you. Say a prayer that honors your father. Some people idolize their dad, and I don’t think that’s good, because in the end he is still a person. Save the worshiping for God’s feet, but honor your human father for the lessons he taught you and the love he gave.

Of course, if you’re one of those lucky people who had a great dad that happens to still be in your life, give him a hug and tell him how much he meant to you. Know that having a great dad is a blessing.

If your dad wasn’t good to you, say a prayer that asks God to lift you up where you need to be in order to see how special you are. Realize that you have the perfect father shining His grace down on you, and with His help you can be the person you were always meant to be.